In terms of individual behaviours, good and bad are often different sides of the same coin. A leader might be patient while another is impatient. A colleague might be careless while another is precise. An associate might be friendly while another is aloof. It is possible to turn bad to good – you just need some perspective and determination. We can all be a little more patient, precise and friendly.

There is, however, a category of behaviour that sits all on its own.

The ugly.

I’m sure we have all either witnessed or been subjected to utterly shocking experiences at the hands of others. You may be surprised that almost all of us do have the capacity to behave like this ourselves. With the right combination of stress and circumstances, anyone can turn into a predator.

The problem is that these ugly behaviours have no flip side. There is no degree to which a bullying psychopath might reform themselves. You are either a bully or you are not a bully – even if you bully occasionally, this can have terrible consequences for those around you. Ugly behaviours simply have to be stopped, but the problem is that it is often those in power who are the culprits – the checks and balances of life weigh less heavily on their shoulders and they can literally get away with anything.

Usually ugly employees are fired, and fired fast. Ugly leaders on the other hand just tend to become uglier.

The challenge with ugly leadership is that employees can do very little about it. You can attempt to manage their organisational skills or decision making, but you can do very little to influence a raging ego or calm selfrighteousanger. The saddest part is that employees have to suffer the ugly sides of leadership.

Luckily, most authentic leaders are able to recognise when their behaviour gets ugly and they are able to pull themselves back from the brink. It isn’t a case of modifying what they are doing; they simply have to stop it altogether. We’ve all been there and an apology should ideally follow swiftly afterwards. It is then important to assess what has caused this ugly behaviour and attempt to avoid such occasions in the future. Ugly behaviour can only harm relationships and sometimes the harm is irreversible.

The number one reason why people leave their jobs is a bad relationship with their boss. There will always be two sides to the story of any employee’s departure; having said that you will be amazed how often ugly leadership is at the core of these broken relationships.

One of the biggest challenges for any company is retaining their best people. Some would argue too much time is spent on promoting good behaviours. What if the same amount of time was invested in preventing the ugly behaviours? Ugly leadership is a challenging issue to address as no business wants to readily admit they have a such a deep rooted problem – It is almost like people want to sweep it under the carpet “ah well, we’re all like that sometimes” – but it can be prevented if people care enough.

When passions are running high, the ability to check your behaviour and refrain from it getting ugly is the hallmark of the best leaders. Are you able to do it?