In any social environment, actions speak far louder than words. How you treat someone will be remembered, while what you say to them will be forgotten. How you make someone feel will touch them, while dictating to them will wash over them without making a mark. Putting yourself last will show them that you care; putting yourself first automatically proves that you don’t.

At a time when the most natural leaders “eat last”, those who truly want to influence others are realising the benefits of putting others first. The great thing about humility is that it has such a delicate nature that it can’t be faked. Too many people insist that they are so humble, but then go on to centre the conversation around their needs…. they just don’t get it.

Having said this, putting the needs of others first is far from easy.

In an attention-starved world, it takes a concerted effort for the truly humble to reap the rewards of their selflessness. Half-measures and occasional gestures won’t do it – their impact will be drowned out in the “me-me-me” noise, and their pseudo-humility will go unnoticed, soon never to be repeated. Being humble is a way of life, something that you have to believe in with no hope of a “payback horizon”. You can be sure that this day will come, but it will come when you least expect it. When you have finally made humility your “modus operandi”, humility will send many blessings your way.

Of course, the truly humble don’t act like that with a game plan; they believe that it is the right way to behave in an unforgiving and selfish world.

There is no personal agenda, and the humble leader can separate themselves from their achievements. They are not defined by them, good or bad. When their accomplishments attract praise, they are quick to acknowledge the input of others, eschewing basking in personal glory. On the flip side, while proud leaders are keen to hide their weaknesses, humble leaders are open about their shortcomings and always seek ways of improving themselves. Proud leaders seem to have all the “right” answers, humble leaders seem to have all the “right” questions – about themselves and others.

All these aspects mean that we want to be around humble people, we want to be led by them, and we want to be mentored by them. We wish that we were like them, and some of us even go so far as talking a good game…. talk is cheap. Humility is a choice, and it is an incredibly powerful and liberating choice. The difference between being humiliated and being humbled is whether the events were in someone else’s control or under your own control. The humble leader says “yes, this is me, I accept who I am.”

Then they act exactly the way that they speak.

I have met many humble leaders in my professional career. It is the most underrated leadership trait on the planet.