Can your colleagues and direct reports predict the sort of reaction that they will get when they chat with you? Are you always consistent in your decision making? Are you level-headed in the face of failure and success alike? Do you treat others fairly and on merit, irrespective of your subjective feelings?

I would guess that not many of us can put our hands on our hearts and say that this is always the case.

There are many ingredients, which contribute to our consistency, and on our “off days” we all have the potential to react inappropriately or misjudge certain situations. When a certain mist descends, it is hard to see ourselves through the eyes of others, and we act without properly considering our impact on the world around us.

Much is written about being “present” with others, but effective influencing is equally about being aware of your own mental state, and how your environment and circumstances are affecting you at any given time.

The classic example is the early morning meeting after a stressful commute into work. The kids were late for school, the dog had deposited hairs all over the driver’s seat of the car, and you had a nervous wait to in a traffic jam to get to the nearest gas station as the needle dipped well below empty. Your head is ready to explode, and your colleagues subsequently feel your wrath. Hello, Mr. Hyde.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

Recognising that Mr. Hyde is bubbling beneath the surface is the first step to shutting him out. When you are aware of what can trigger changes in your mood, you can automatically adopt a positive mindset to dealing with it. Yes, there is a traffic jam, but you always listen to your e-book in traffic jams – you won’t get to work any faster anyway. You know that you sometimes forget to put fuel in the car, so you make it part of your routine on a weekend to go to the gas station on the way to pick the kids up from swimming practice.

You need to manage your life rather than let life manage you.

This isn’t to say that you should always be in a good mood, no matter what the circumstances. When life serves you lemons, it is perfectly understandable that you will grimace a little – the most important thing is that you do not let your distaste affect anyone else. If you are having a bad day, count to ten before you say anything important, try to take your emotions out of the equation when you are making decisions, and you may even want to let people know that “Mr. Hyde” is not too far away from the surface. They will forgive you the odd indiscretion; we have all been there. Self-control is one of the hallmarks of adulthood. When did you last lose it?

Footnote: “The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” was a short story published in 1886 by author Robert Louis Stevenson. Doctor Henry Jekyll was a pleasant man, who involuntarily turned into the sociopathic Edward Hyde at regular intervals. He fought the compulsion, but only death could put a stop to the carnage in his life.