Count Each Day As A Separate Life.
The people that I’ve worked with will know one of my favourite responses for when they are having a tough day is “Look! Over there, it’s behind you!”
Everything that you know is in the past. Look, there it is, it’s been and gone. Blink and you missed it, but unless you are a mad scientist with a DeLorean, there is no chance of changing it. These are such obvious things to say, so why do we spend so much time obsessing over what might have been? Many obsess about the past because they believe that it has an immediate effect on our future: “I wasn’t deemed leadership material at my old company, so why should I bother with my next one?” or “I have been rejected for the last five interviews, so what makes this one so different?”
The answer lies in a combination of mathematics, attitude and philosophy.
Let’s talk for a minute about probability. When you toss a coin, the probability of it landing tails on the first throw is 50%. The probability of heads is obviously the same. It may so have happened that the first five throws landed tails. If viewed as a separate event (and assuming a fair toss), would you lean towards calling tails for the sixth throw? Most people probably would, although the probability is still exactly 50/50. Separate throw = equal chances.
Just because you have failed five interviews in a row doesn’t necessarily mean that the sixth will be the same – not if you wipe the slate clean and start afresh. Your attitude is key. You have to believe that the future is yours to mould as you wish. The philosopher Seneca said: “Count each day as a separate life.” The title sums up what I want to say in this article pretty nicely, but I suppose I should write another 500 or so words to show that I have thought about it myself a little. Much of being able to put the past to one side is about the ability to focus.
If you know where you want to get to and what you need to do to get there, why should you worry about what has been before? There is no need to look in the rear view mirror to survey the trail of disappointment of your job search (for example) thus far. All you need to do is tighten your seatbelt, put yourself in the right gear and get ready for the next part of the journey. There will be obstacles, but they will be slightly different to yesterday’s obstacles. There will be mistakes, but they will be slightly different to yesterday. There will be decisions, but these too will be slightly different. Every “new” action takes you on a different road, and each road that you take has every chance of
leading you where you need to get to. Even if you take the wrong turn, you can take a shortcut crosscountry to get back onto the “right” one.
Each day is indeed a separate life, a separate journey. Each new day is an opportunity to refuel. With a “full tank” you will find the path to your destination.